Hello Ladies,
As we all run around like crazy people busy as all get out celebrating milestones with our children or grandchildren.  I want to retell a story that my mother shared with me on June 6th which was her 96th.

On this birthday she was reflecting that  her mother used to make her favorite meal of enchiladas every year for her birthday meal.  She remembered how it tasted, how it smelled and that it was the only gift she received from her mother year after year.
It made me realize how sometimes we don't appreciate the simple things in life and how precious they really are. My mother has always given us her time either in the way of food, conversation, or prayer. It was all she had and like her mother it was the purest way she could show her love for us and those we care about. She also extends that love to our friends and their children and is always wondering how others are so that she can partake in the good things that happen to others without asking anything for herself. She is an amazing woman who has taught us lessons without hitting us over the head but by giving unrelentingly, unconditionally, and with unwavering love.
As I go through this hot flash time in my life I hope that I can be as gracious as she has been to so many.

Happy June! 

Heart to Heart...............

It should really be everyday that we show our love in big and small ways but it is also nice to be reminded. When I was young the fear of going to school on Valentine's day was so nerve wrecking. I never considered myself popular, never the brightest, definitely not the prettiest SO, I prayed for at least one envelope to be placed on my desk. God never let me down but each year I went through the same anxiety. 

I knew that being friendly wasn't the be all, get all when it came to being popular or liked in school. You had to have that certain something that I didn't have. Now, I know that even though I might not be the prettiest, the smartest or the most popular, I love being friendly and giving for how it makes me feel inside not for what I might get back. 

Finding the balance to give when it makes sense and feels good is sometimes difficult. I now sometimes have anxiety because I can't be everywhere or everything for everyone. In the end, it is a give and take and taking or expecting isn't bad or awful of us. It is what keeps us motivated, inspires us, propels us and helps us decide what we want to give to whom and when. Discernment is one of the most wonderful ways in which we can balance the giving and the taking and make days like the 14th of February really meaningful for our relationships on all levels. 

All of our interactions with others are important at some level and showing appreciation for them is what will always make the world go round.

Hope you heart day was filled with an everlasting joy. 

Hi again, it's a NEW, not so NEW year!

It is really incredible how our lives just ebb and weave and all of a sudden it is weeks even months before we have accomplished something we intended to do. It doesn't matter what our best intentions are sometimes, we just don't get some things done until much later then we expected.

This year's holiday season without my sister Martha was especially difficult in light of the fact that this was the time of year she came down from Northern CA with her family, we made tamales, and celebrated her birthday. This year was different and it was hard. It was especially hard for my 95 year old mother who just last week shared that she often remembers certain occasions in which my sister Becky, who went to heaven in Jan-2010 and my sister Martha who suddenly went to heaven in May-2011 were present in a big fun way. They were her friends not just her daughters. They gave her advise, they guided her and treated her like a treasure which we sometimes forget to do with our moms.

So I am reconnecting so that we can share and laugh and even cry through our ideas, inspiring moments, our reflections and our insights.  I also hope that this year will find you in a better place then you were last year. I am striving to take moments to reconnect with who I am and share them with you and I hope you will do the same.
Hot flashes are not so frequent and I love being able to wear a sweater indoors for longer than 5 minutes!!
tootles until next time.

What do you know.......

I used to think I knew what it was that made me happy, sad, angry and what could bring be back to a place of peace. Lately, as I realize this hormone thing is not my imagination, it seems that I have a foreigner in my body. I am not an example of a serious case in which I get depressed or spin out of control with super highs or super lows. 

However, the small ways in which this life CHANGE has affected me is wide and far reaching. It never ceases to amaze me. As the weather gets cooler I mentally get ready to wear the coats, leggings, wool sweaters of my past that I loved. I layered and layered and looked my best in winter clothes...Summer being my worst, but now I can't even wear a light sweater without sweating up a storm....it makes me so sad and I wonder if I will ever feel like me again. I used to think I was the woman who could do anything, at anytime without hesitation and now I doubt myself at every turn. Today, I hesitate, adjust, and rearrange but I continue on and keep having faith that this process is not for nothing. This, like the day I began this female cycle of life is a process that I will sooner or later adjust to.

What I know for a fact is that I am not going to let the flux of heat that changes in my body literally from minute to minute change how I dream, love or share myself with others. It won't hinder my giving heart and it won't stop me from reaching out to those who may think they are alone in the world of life changes........what do you know????????

The Great Balancing Act......

What a week, right? Getting ready to have all you want to accomplish done by "the day" just to find that you have forgotten something. It might not have been something big, major or even critical but still not everything you wanted to accomplish.

The problem is that you find that it is a perpetual battle to actually feel like you did everything you wanted. There seems to be a lingering feeling..."I could have done more". Whether it is get that special dish done, or buy that new blouse instead of throwing on the same one you wore last year, sit and have a conversation with someone you wanted to catch up with...any number of things on our never ending, long, getting longer list of things.

We know that taking care of "us" is best for us and then we want to take care of our loved ones and just those two things are feats in and of themselves. How do we let everyone else know how much we care without working twenty-four hours a day?

Seems like the more we do the more there is to do...balance each and every day is what we need to strive for and we don't always give ourselves permission to let the balance change or vary. We won't always be the same or give the same or want the same from others. We vacillate between so much it is a wonder that men find any way to understand us at all...LOL

We are beginning the 48th week of the year and it is daunting how fast each year goes by after you reach a certain age....young people don't believe it but time somehow speeds up and we run out of time before you have a chance to realize it. We are smart, successful, kind, loving, giving women, why can't we let go of some things that are not, or should not be as important as we make them? Balance what involves cultivating relationships before material things and don't let anything or anyone tilt your scale of balance without good reason. I can't say "DON'T" let it happen because it will. There is no point in trying to ignore those times but let it be for a really good reason.

This season as I try to balance the internal desires vs the external possibilities, I pray that we move forward with determination to get, as well as give and that at the end of the day we aren't lamenting that which we didn't get done. Just think about all that you have enjoyed, accomplished, given to others and received from others.

How will you or do you successfully find balance?????

When you least expect it..............

I have been scheduling doctor's appointments and have had the annual boob smashing, the new and invasive vaginal ultrasound, received the referral for and even call to make the appointment for the first time Colonoscopy. As I was speaking to the appointment desk clerk, she asked why I was requesting the procedure and I stated that I had never had one and I was 51.

Wow when I said it out load it made me stop and think....am I really 51? How did I get here, what the heck have I done the last 40 years? I felt so daunted by the number...and yes I am a firm believer that it is just a number...after all my mom who is in miraculous health is 95. What am I going to to for the next 44 years.

Yet I often feel like I am running out of time...the time for productivity, health and even wealth is closing in on me and the advanced menopause symptoms are ever present. I can't do anything, even that which is not a bit strenuous without feeling like I have been dunked into a hot vat of steaming water and I can't get out. I ran out of my hormone balancing pills and can't get more until next week. When I take them I don't get any hot spells at all but buying them and taking them seems like such a chore.
It really does suck to be female sometimes.......... Coping is one of the biggest preoccupations of life lately. Coping with the ebb and flow of everything that comes my way... I remember a time when life just happened ...now more and more things that were of no consequence seem to be either more sad, more happy, more scary, more everything...what are some of your "mores" lately? How do you deal with them?

One for the books..............

As some of you may know I deal with the review, registration and dissemination of birth and death records. Today I recieved a call from a funeral director who requested that I review and register a death  record. He recounted the story told to him by the decedents husband. The wife who hadn't been feeling well for a few days suddenly slumped over on her computer. He called the paramedics but it was too late. She was gone to meet her maker. However, at the time this happened she was "googling" heart attack symptoms......so I am giving you a link below for a site that I often use in reviewing causes of death.

The husband recounted that she had felt badly for a few days but didn't know why and he also stated that when he looked at the google history on her computer she had been researching for days.

She was the kind of person who put others first, who didn't stop, who worked from home and on weekends.
I submit to you that those days when you feel like saying 'no more', 'not today', 'I can't', 'I shouldn't', that you DO. Take time for yourself, get a massage, go for a walk, so something for and for you alone.

It is often said by experts that if you do not take the time to be in good physical and mental health first then you are or will eventually be useless to others, those others that you love and want to be there for the most.

Take this week and do something for you and tell us what it was, share how you internalize being a beautiful, kind, loving woman that you surely are. Enjoy and be safe this week as you prepare for the Thanks Giving meal and the travel that it may entail.
God be with you and bless you and your families.



http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/features/her-guide-to-a-heart-attack