I have been scheduling doctor's appointments and have had the annual boob smashing, the new and invasive vaginal ultrasound, received the referral for and even call to make the appointment for the first time Colonoscopy. As I was speaking to the appointment desk clerk, she asked why I was requesting the procedure and I stated that I had never had one and I was 51.
Wow when I said it out load it made me stop and think....am I really 51? How did I get here, what the heck have I done the last 40 years? I felt so daunted by the number...and yes I am a firm believer that it is just a number...after all my mom who is in miraculous health is 95. What am I going to to for the next 44 years.
Yet I often feel like I am running out of time...the time for productivity, health and even wealth is closing in on me and the advanced menopause symptoms are ever present. I can't do anything, even that which is not a bit strenuous without feeling like I have been dunked into a hot vat of steaming water and I can't get out. I ran out of my hormone balancing pills and can't get more until next week. When I take them I don't get any hot spells at all but buying them and taking them seems like such a chore.
It really does suck to be female sometimes.......... Coping is one of the biggest preoccupations of life lately. Coping with the ebb and flow of everything that comes my way... I remember a time when life just happened ...now more and more things that were of no consequence seem to be either more sad, more happy, more scary, more everything...what are some of your "mores" lately? How do you deal with them?
One of my more's is more time...I cannot find enough time in the day to complete all of my duties. Another one is that I need more memory to remember all the things I have to do...I know, I know, write things down. I can't even remember to do that or I write them down and can't remember where I wrote them. I know I would like more quality time with my family, more fun times, and laughter. Those are my MORE'S:)
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